Ashlee Simpson got liquored up and possibly coked up at an event the other night and allegedly verbally assaulted husband Pete Wentz's ex-girlfriend Michelle Trachtenberg. "The evening started off very civilly," a spy told that walking pile of pigshit Perez Hilton. "Pete and Ashlee had a pleasant conversation with Michelle and her boyfriend for close to 20 minutes." Then, "Ashlee got very very drunk. She also kept making frequent bathroom trips."

And the green-eyed monster came out to play and started shrieking and calling Michelle all sorts of nasty names like "poopyface" and "little so-and-so" and "poopyhead." I'm trying to imagine what any kind of verbal exchange between Ashlee Simpson and Michelle Trachtenberg would sound like but my brain isn't able to sink to that level. Pete was probably all like, "Why didn't I stick to men?" Mystery to me too Pete.

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